Write Or Wrong 85

Holidaze

I've been busy lately. This part of the year is always a busy one. Shopping for Christmas gifts for family and friends wasn't all that difficult, but being amongst the throngs of annoying smelly people was not the best (sounds snobby, I know). And I applied for a job as a basketball coach and after some early promise I have yet to hear back from my potential employers. Also, the world is still slowly being swallowed in to the abyss with all the events of late. The shooting at the Damage Plan concert in Ohio was sickening. Hearing about the oil spill in the Aleutian Islands that might kill thousands of animals made me sick to my stomach. And Bernard Kerik stepping down from the selection process for Director of Homeland Security actually made me smile a bit that someone has some decency in politics.

But there are always good things going on. My family and my girlfriend. My friends. And entertainment is always good. Go buy "Antics" by Interpol. Go see "Oceans 12". Go out and rent "Love, Actually". And go read my review of the festering turd that is "Blade: Trinity".

First off, I'm a fan of the first two instalments of the Blade franchise. While both very different in tone and style, both films managed to carve out individually clever and entertaining films. The first Blade's slick, dark action was a pleasant surprise when it'd debuted back in 1998. Preceding the Matrix by a few months, it had a superhumanly powered hero decked out in black leather, dispensing justice with a plethora of martial arts. But the real highlight wasn't the action sequences; it was Wesley Snipes as Blade. His picture-perfect comic book poses and impressive physicality brought a lot to the role. I mean, it's not Shakespeare, but it made the character that much more interesting and entertaining. The second outing was also impressive in that it moved away from the more thriller-ish elements of the first film and upped the ante in the horror department. I mean, some of the imagery in that film was gruesomely fun. Also, the action in the second film was leaps and bounds above the firsts.

With that said, this Blade film is not that impressive. In fact, much like it's vampire characters, it sucks. While I won't give away the plot, I have to say that the complete lack of a coherent plot is surprising considering that the films writer and director, David Goyer, wrote the two previous films. Not that the stories were Oscar-worthy, but they had a clear plot and progressed nicely. By comparison, this film feels choppy and disjointed. You never really get to re-connect with the personality of Blade, because all you get is a growling, sword-wielding ass-kicker. There are a few flashes of that vicious charisma that Blade has demonstrated in the past, but almost all of that is lost among the rest of the film. Speaking of film, the quality of the film stock and cinematography seem to be very different than those of the first to films. While both films had decidedly different visual styles, each one was appealing to the eye and fit the tone of the film. In the first film, we had an industrial vibe with little splashes of stark whites, pitch blacks, and cold blues. The second film was a much sexier looking film, with a neo-gothic vibe, complete with grey and black toned sets, with a slight reddish-orange glow to them. This film lacks a true visual style, something I think that is quite important for a genre film like this.

The movie seems to have been shot somewhat like "the Bourne Identity". It has a very gritty feel to its camera work and lacks any of the visual polish of the two other films. If it was intentional then it was a very big misfire by the filmmakers involved. It ends up looking like many of those cheesy 1980's action movies you see playing late at night on cable. My friend Mike hit it on the head when he said that the film seemed like "Vampire Shaft". Too true.

Speaking of the 80's, this film seemed very much like the aforementioned action flicks of that era. Much of the dialogue is stilted, there is little to no true character development besides blowing shit up, and the action seems choppy and badly edited. Even Snipes' usual impressively constructed fight scenes seem small and lacking in grace and fluid movement. The final battle with the films main villain is also a letdown. The first film had Blade sword-fighting against a vampire endowed with mystical powers. The second had him having a knock down, drag out brawl with a vampire genetically enhanced with more predatory DNA. This film has Blade dueling it out with Dracula inside a posh office building. Now, I LOVE big fight scenes. I love seeing these superhuman characters get thrown through walls, demonstrating their more that human abilities. But this film just misses the mark in the "epic final battle" category. The fight with Dracula is lackluster and unimaginative. It lacks the style and pacing of either of the first two films and ends weakly. If you looked at the first Blade, it had Blade grabbing his sword and having a fast and furious sword-duel with Deacon Frost. The style of the fight was quick cuts demonstrating the sheer quickness of the characters. The second film had Blade and his adversary throwing each other through walls, landing devastating blows, and generally putting one another thought the ringer. This film features a really weak sword fight with some CGI-enhanced tackles. That's it. The fight is edited to the point where the screen is pulled in on such tight shots that never really give way for some expansive and more, well, watchable.

What the film does have going for it is humour. It's, by far, the funniest of all three films simply because of Ryan Reynolds excellent comic talents. Reynolds plays former vampire and current vampire-hunter Hannibal King. As King he plays the comedic foil to Snipes' stoic Blade and boy does he excel at it. He throws out one liners and hilarious facial expressions throughout the entire film and just generally livens up a very dull and dreary film. Also, Patton Oswald, another hilariously funny actor, is used in a throwaway role where he gets one of the funniest lines in the film. Even Snipes gets a bit funnier towards the second half of the film when he starts manhandling a character and keeps using the word "motherfucker" to hilarious effect.

But in the end, a film is all about it's actors right? Even with all the CGI and pyrotechnics and fight scenes, you need a decent cast to make those scenes in between flow and at least be somewhat bearable. With this cast, we get no such thing. With the exception of Reynolds' comedic vampire-hunter and wrestler Triple H's small role, this film lacks any real attention grabbing, scene-stealers. Even Snipes as Blade has the kind of performance that seems to have been phoned in. Everything "performance" is just horrid. Especially Jessica Biel as Abraham Whistlers, illegitimate, bow and arrow- wielding hottie of a daughter, Abigail. There's no character there. Just a girl with a nice figure, shooting arrows at villains and having a gratuitous and non-sensical shower scene. Yeah, a shower scene.

And so that's the word on that one. Marvel continues its string of misfires after a great start for its feature films. It seems that for every X-Men and Spiderman film, we're going to have to endure crap like Daredevil and Blade: Trinity. And looking ahead, with the average looking Elektra and sure to be horrid Fantastic Four on the horizon, it doesn't look like we'll be getting another gem from them for a while. Here's hoping that the third X-Men film gets on track and sets things right.