Shut Up And Listen 254

A week ago, I was sitting on my couch. It's a nice couch, one of those ones where the two seats at each end recline. So, I was reclining, my right arm above my head and I was just staring at the TV blankly. I didn't want to think. Stephen Harper was on and he was speaking to a crowd of supporters, gloating about his victory. He was Prime Minister. I didn't watch much of his speech. I couldn't. Fuck me, I thought. Harper's in charge.

Well, now that we've got that melodrama out of the way . . .

So, the Tories won a minority government. First off, we're not doomed. Second off, this fucking rules.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Harper's Prime Minister and all, and that sucks, but the rest of it is pretty damn sweet. God, that election night was a fun time. I may have been depressed and disgusted when it came time for Harper to make his victory speech, but the rest of the time, I was laughing.

For fuck's sake, the Tories won less seats this time than the Liberals did in the last election. And that election happened after it was exposed that the Liberals were corrupt. That's how much we dislike Stephen Harper. The Tories and Harper can call this a victory as much as they want, and they are correct in doing so, but it's one pathetic victory. This should have been 1993 all over again, but for the Tories. (In 1993, the outgoing Tory government was reduced to only two seats in the House, while the Liberals received a solid majority with the Bloc Quebecois, Reform Party and NDP all beating the Tories as well.)

This was Stephen Harper's election to lose and he nearly did it. I mean, my god! When it is revealed so completely and utterly that the party in power outright fucked over the country and you barely beat them, you fucking suck.

I feel very sorry for the real Tories, who merged with Harper's Alliance Party (formerly the Reform Party) before the last election. It's obvious that those fiscally and socially conservatives fucked it up. The Liberals managed to hold a lot of ground, because guys like Harper scare the shit out of sane people who actually respect and care about others. The merger happened to "unite the right," but what it's really done is prevent the Tories from gaining as much power as they should.

The Bloc went down and didn't even receive half of the popular vote in Quebec. That's sad, too. I think the Bloc should begin running candidates nationally. Not to win any seats, but just so Duceppe can point to those votes and say, "See, Canadians recognise Quebec's right to be a sovereign state." That would be bullshit, of course, but who cares in politics?

The Green Party stayed about the same. Something about that party disturbs me. It could be the idea of combining the policies of the left with the budget of the right. Because that makes any fucking sense. Or it could be the fact that it's an international party. That bothers me.

Paul Martin is stepping down from the leadership of the Liberal Party. He announced it after losing. A little premature, I think, but understandable. The fight to claim the leadership of the most dominant party in Canada is on. Should be interesting.

The only real winners were the NDP. The party went up and it's in a position where it is needed. Fuck yeah.

To anyone who is depressed and angry at what happened: grow up and learn something. The Tories didn't win, the Liberals were punished. The Tories are in power, but don't actually have the power. Harper can't push his more radical agendas through because he needs the support of other parties. He's now got to walk the fine line between pleasing the opposition parties and pleasing his caucus. We'll most likely get some pretty good legislation before his caucus revolts and he's thrown out of power.

It will be fun to watch.

I give it nine months.