Shut Up And Listen 246

Christmas is under siege, people! In this era of hyper-sensitivity and political correctness, our wonderful holiday devoted to the birth of our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ, the only son of God is under attack from the Jews and the Muslims and the atheists and all of the other non-Christians who don't know what exactly December 25 means and that, fuck you, the people who colonised North America were Christian, so if you want to live here, you better just suck it up and follow a few of our traditions if you want us to give a flying fuck about your cute little rituals. They keep trying to suck the Christ out of Christmas . . . or worse: the Christmas out of Christmas. Motherfuckers.

Well . . . not quite the sort of statements you'd expect from me and you'd be right, because I think that's bullshit. But, I also think all of that lessening the impact of Christmas during this time of year is stupid as well. I'll address the pro-Christmas people first, though.

Yeah, sorry to tell you, but Christmas has little to do with Christ anymore. That changed before I was even born, so don't go acting like Christians and Christmas are all of a sudden under siege by evil forces. You know what Christmas is really about? Getting together with family and friends, having some fun, exchanging gifts and then returning said gifts because those people have the worst taste in clothes. It's about the presents and it's about Santa Claus. Hell, I've been joking for years that we should just shrug our shoulders and officially make Christmas a celebration of the birth of Santa.

Besides, how many times must evidence be presented to show that Christmas was just a winter solstice holiday taken over in an effort to lend a sense of legitimacy to Christianity? Or that shepherds wouldn't have their sheep out in fucking December, even in the Middle East? Or that, hell, you guys couldn't even get the year Jesus was supposedly born right, so why would we trust you on the exact day when said calendar didn't even exist then?

Oh, you'll no doubt argue that things change and that it's become a tradition that Christmas is a Christian holiday about the birth of Jesus and evidence to the contrary doesn't really matter because of the tradition. Interesting how you'll argue that your side gains legitimacy by arguing that change happens and traditions build. That's pretty much my argument against Christmas being a religious holiday at this point. Oh sure, it will have undertones of religion, but, for the most part, it's secular by this point. It's about presents. And every single year, it will become more about presents and every single year, it will become less about Jesus. The same thing happened way back in the day, except this time Santa is replacing Jesus instead of Jesus replacing some Roman god. Don't you just love the cyclical nature of history?

Along with that, all you anti-Christmas people: it's a secular fucking holiday by this point. It may have its roots in religion, but for a lot of people, there's nothing religious about it (well, beyond the worship of material goods). It's so mainstream that calling it a Christian holiday at this point seems absurd. Santa beats Jesus easily, so suck it the fuck up and stop being such whiny little babies. You're not being oppressed by Christians, you're being oppressed by Western society--something you all don't seem to have that much of a problem with most of the time.

Look at me: I'm not only an atheist, but I'm quite anti-religion and I love Christmas. It's probably my favourite time of year. Despite the image that I give off, I enjoy spending time with my family and hearing Christmas songs and watching Christmas specials. I also love giving gifts to the people I care about. I love finding something that they'll enjoy and that shows that I care about them. Yes, that may be materialistic, but knowing what TV show to get someone on DVD can signify a lot. And it can also be cool if you watch it with them and share an experience. Sometimes it's hard to show just how much you really care and giving or getting the exact right gift can do that in a weird way.

That's the sort of shit that Christmas is about. Both sides need to realise that most of us have moved on from their stupid little fight of religions. The fact that they've resorted to using Wal-Mart ads as canon fodder shows me that they've really just run out of important shit to fight over. Who cares if Wal-Mart uses "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays"? Last night, I said both to people just depending on what happened to come out of my mouth. It's the sentiment that matters. And you know what? Wal-Mart doesn't give a fuck either way. They just want your money. Who gives a fuck what they say?

This is the time of year where we're supposed to not give a fuck about all of this semantic bullshit and just be good to each other. That's it. Just be decent fucking people for a month or so basically. Leave politics and PC bullshit out of it. Just be decent people and recognise that if someone says "Merry Christmas," they aren't trying to force you to worship Jesus and if they say "Happy Holidays," they aren't trying to destroy Christianity. All they're trying to do is be nice and show they care a little. Stop corrupting that.