Shut Up And Listen 227

Confessions Of A Total Elitist Snob*

Yeah, I'm elitist snob. I like certain music, movies, books, TV shows, pieces of art, and comics, and not only that, but at every effort, I try and force what I like upon others in an effort to make them see that the shit they like is just that, shit, and what I'm into is fucking great. Fuck it, I'm tired of hiding it. Everyone does it. You may be sitting there, reading this column, saying to yourself, "Not me! I'm not like Chad! No! I can't be!" but you are.

Have you ever said to a friend "Hey, you've got to watch/listen to/read/check this (out)!"? If so, then welcome to the club. Do you have opinions on what is good and what is bad, and then expressed those views to someone else? I call you brother or sister! The only difference is how far you take it. Now, I'm sure many of you have that live and let live attitude where while you don't like it, the fact that someone else doesn't really offend you. And then there's people like me where the fact that people not only seem to like that shit, but there are more people who like the shit than people who like the good stuff makes you throw up a little in your mouth. No one really wants to be compared to Barry from High Fidelity (played by Jack Black in the film for those who can't remember), but some of us just have to accept that that is who we are.

The truth of the matter is that if I think something is good then it is Good, and if I think something is bad then it is Shit. Why fight it? Sure, it makes me a bit of an asshole apparently, unaccepting, and whatever else you can throw at me, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't just shrug it off and go "Oh well, as long as you like it" when that's a lie. You know as well as I do that sitting in a car when your friend's put a shitty song on the radio is pure fucking hell. It's assault on your fucking ears and if you could you'd change the station in a second. But you don't, you just sit there, grit your teeth and pretend not to be bothered. Oh, I do that too. It is polite. But every once in a while, I'll say something. Luckily, I have friends who, whether they like it or not, are just as opinionated and stubborn as me and just go "Fuck you" and begin singing along. That's all I want, people. Why can't we just be honest?

Of course, everything we don't like won't produce such a strong reaction as there are degrees of how bad something is, but there's no crime in saying you think it sucks and arguing over its merits. And you know what, if in the course of that discussion, the other person keeps praising things you like, it's not a crime to tell them that their taste is shit. Fuck you, the fact that it's a subjective opinion is implied considering the subject matter. Of course, if I say your taste in movies is shit that there's a chance that I could be wrong, as you *GASP!* disagree with me, but from my point of view, it's, well, shit. It sucks, it's horrid, it makes me want to rip my eyes out and stomp on them lest I be forced to watch one of those pieces of shit. And you know what? Since I have the right to call your taste shit, you have a right to tell me that my taste is shit! Just fucking say it back! Get it all out there and then we can all just move on!

This stuff matters. Music, movies, TV, books, comics, art, whatever, they're all big parts of our lives and we need to treat them as such. If you're a Catholic and you're discussing religion with a Hindu, there's a good chance that everyone knows that you're secretly thinking that the other person is a heathen who's going to burn in hell for all eternity unless they accept Jesus Christ as their personal lord and saviour. It's just one of those things. It doesn't mean you don't like them or think they're a bad person, just that you disagree over something and that carries along with it certain judgements. Judgements are okay. You're given a set of facts and you make a judgement about them. That's what you're supposed to do, but somewhere along the way, some idiots decided that that was a bad thing to do. Without judgements, though, things would be fucked up. Like, if you've judged that your friend's taste in movies is questionable (or shit as I like to call it), you may decided not to let them be the ones to rent something for Friday night (or, if you're smart, you'll find something you both can tolerate, but where's the fun in that?).

So, yes, I'm a judgemental, elitist snob, and, dammit, that's a good thing. It helps me avoid shitty music, movies, TV shows, books and comics.

*Note: The above column does not apply if you're a male in a relationship with a female. If this is the case, shut up, grin, and nod at whatever she suggests. If you're lucky, she'll take pity on you from time to time and let you pick something.