Shut Up And Listen 185

Debate Numero Uno: Bush Is Pathetic, Weak And A Fucking Loser

Wow, the debate is barely going and Kerry is already pandering and kissing ass. What a fucking tool. This is bullshit. You know what? Kerry doesn't deserve to be President. He really doesn't. Bush doesn't either, mind you. Look at these two! In your worst nightmares could you imagine these two morons? God, how depressing. For this column, I'll just write what comes to mind as I watch the debate. I'll try to be as coherent as possible, but to be honest, if you haven't seen the debate, you might not follow along as well as those who did. Sorry, but those are the breaks.

I hate official debates. Time limits and rules are bullshit. I want to see a fucking argument.

HAHAHAHA! Bush is entertaining. He was just asked if Kerry gets elected will that increase the chances of a terrorist attack and he just smiled, shook his head and said "No, I don't believe that's going to happen." Not that a terrorist attack won't happen, but that the question is meaningless because Kerry won't win. He now just rambling on and on and on about meaningless bullshit that has nothing to do with what he was asked. And people are going to eat up this bullshit. Fucking hell.

Kerry is stiff. Bush is not. Kerry is rambling just like Bush. Smart tactic. He should follow Bush's style, but make it his own.

If this was an argument, we'd actually be given answers that actually relate to the questions, because when one of them got off it, the other would just shout him down, "You are off-topic, you fucking moron!" That's a debate I want to see.

Holy shit, Kerry is on fire now. Asked about what errors Bush made, Kerry has just ripped into him. Did it quite well too. Bush's response is basically "I was right, bitch. Fuck you."

I would like to see lie detectors instituted in things like this. Yeah, you can beat them, maybe, but how great would it be to see these two guys put up there and anytime they lied, an expert would say so right then and there? It would be fucking glorious. I honestly think that would be to Bush's detriment though, because I've seen a few lies already. I mean, America's alliances are strong? Where'd he get that fucking idea? Liar!

Kerry is doing well. Bush is doing okay, but Kerry is doing better, I think. But then again, I'm biased and I look for different things. Kerry is not as animated and charismatic in his style, but he's hard-hitting and on the attack. Bush is justifying more, while Kerry is attacking. I think that's the right way of doing it: active rather than passive.

Heh. Bush is on the run, he reeling and stumbling over his words. He began as confident and now he looks defeated. We're only twenty minutes in and it's all over. Kerry wins. Bush is weak and sad. As I said, he's just trying to justify himself to Kerry's accusations. He reminds me of a teenager caught in a web of lies trying to figure out how to get out of trouble. He doesn't answer questions, he gives big pauses and fragments of sentences. I think Bush came in thinking this was going to be a cakewalk and has been knocked for a loop by Kerry's directness and aggressiveness. Bush is used to winning debates, because he relies on broad talking points and snide remarks, but Kerry is a strong debater and is able to think fast on his feet. Bush can't think fast. You can tell, without actually listening to what he says, just how he says, if he's giving a talking point or an original thought. Talking point: calm, strong and confident. Original thoughts: panicked, nervous, weak and a lot of mumbling.

I could turn it off now. It's over. It was over ten minutes ago. As long as Kerry doesn't fuck it up, he's won it. Bush is shown to be the cowardly fool he is. He can campaign well when he's alone and given a prewritten speech, but put out in front of people next to a guy who's smarter and can think better on his feet, he's just another average guy who knows shit-all.

Twenty minutes later and Kerry is still going strong. Bush just said something quite laughable about how a commander-in-chief shouldn't change his ideas when situations change. What the fuck? Do people actually want a stubborn idiot? Bush keeps attacking Kerry's able to actually react to changing situations. Do people buy this? I . . . I mean, am I the only one who sees how ridiculous that is? There was a "Bizarro" comic strip a while back that laid it out right: on one side, we had Kerry and Bush as regular people where Kerry was called something like a sensible person and Bush was called a stubborn idiot. On the other side, we had Kerry and Bush as politicians and Kerry was called a flip-flopper and Bush was called a strong leader. That's the sad fucking truth.

HAHAHAHA! God, that was hilarious! Bush called for one of those extra thirty seconds and then stood there, totally silent, mouth open, and looking like a fool for a good five or six seconds.

Bush is officially advocating outright lies. Seriously. He keeps talking about how Kerry should stay positive and never say negative things even though they may the truth. How lovely. The "Coalition of the Willing" is just a few countries, but mostly just the US? Don't say that because it sounds bad. God, what a loser.

I wonder if Americans are seeing now what a loser they have for president?

At this point, Mister Never chose to leave his laptop and move to the online world, keeping the debate on in the background. He wishes for you to know that Bush never recovered and anyone who saw the debate differently is in denial and obviously not to be trusted. Their opinions are wrong and meaningless because they are clouded by bias. Next week, he will cover the second debate where he expects Kerry to pounce on Bush and keep on attacking him until he breaks down and weeps like a little girl.