Shut Up And Listen 178

From Canada With Love

Terrorists Prefer Kerry For Prez!

A recent report from the American media says that out of 2500 terrorists polled, nearly 1700, or 68%, support John Kerry for President over the current President, George Bush. This has sent a shockwave through America with Kerry plummeting in the polls and Republicans pouncing like starved animals upon the wounded prey that is the Democratic Party.

John Kerry tried to defend himself in numerous public appearances, but failed to really do so. Some memorable quotes were "But I hate terrorists as much as Bush!", "Just the Republican spin machine at work", "They're just trying to pull the wool over the American publics eyes by supposedly supporting me so their real choice can get himself elected in November and we won't fall for that, oh no!", and, my personal favourite, "Why are they polling terrorists instead of capturing them?" Most ignored what he said and wrote him off as a terrorist-loving scumbag.

The Democrats have quickly distanced themselves from Kerry, trying to play up John Edwards, the son of a mill worker from South Carolina (where he was raised by his mill worker father and his mother, a mill worker's wife), as their real choice for President. The president of the party was quoted as saying, "Oh that was just a mistake. See, they both have the same first name, so we just got confused over what John we were voting for. We really meant the mill worker's boy, not the terrorist-lover. Seriously."

Republicans have criticised the Democrats' lack of support for Kerry, saying that they have flip-flopped on the issue of John Kerry for President. "First they were for him and now they're not," a Republican senate member said earlier this week. "Next thing you know they'll be saying they're no longer Democrats and are Republicans or something. `We're not Americans anymore, we're Canadians!' will be their new battle cry!" These remarks were dismissed by Democrats who claimed they would never become Canadians.

The actual results of the poll were interesting. While Middle Eastern terrorists seem to prefer Kerry, other terrorists support Bush. 96% of American militias, South American drug cartels, African warlords, and European terrorist groups polled said they would vote for Bush. Conservatives dismiss those numbers, claiming that they aren't really terrorists since they haven't attacked America recently and therefore don't count.

The breakdown of Middle Eastern terrorist results also showed various patterns. While Iraqi insurgents overwhelmingly support Kerry, Afghani warlords support Bush, as do members of al Queda whose cells are in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia. Strangely enough, al Queda cells in Iran, Syria, Libya, and other nations surrounding Iraq support Kerry. These patterns appear to indicate that the terrorists are not doing as Kerry suggests and answering contrary to their real preferences in an effort to manipulate the American public as to their advantage.

It should be noted that the selection of terrorists polled was weighted heavily towards those in the Iraq area. If each group was weighted equally taking the average results for each, Bush would actually the terrorist favourite with 76.4%.

The White House had no comment when asked about this reading of the poll.

Fuck The Troops

So, I picked up the new Rolling Stone like I do every two weeks. Mostly a forgettable issue with a big chunk taken up by their "hot" stuff. But there was a lovely article on Abu Ghraib that reminded me about the whole ordeal and I have this to say:

Fuck the American military. I hope it gets its ass handed to it and many of their soldiers die.

Yes, yes, that sounds very harsh and insane, doesn't it? A bit over reactive? Well, fuck you, if it takes a huge loss of life and a horrible beating for you stupid fucking Americans to learn to treat people with fucking decency and respect, then it's worth it. And I don't care who the fuck the person is, there is no justification for what went on in that prison. I say that just going by what I know for sure happened from pictures or statements by soldiers who were there (and often did the acts themselves). There is a standard of treatment that should always be adhered to and I expect that a country as "advanced" as America to fucking realise that standard and stick to it in all situations. What American soldiers did was . . . I don't even think there's a word for it.

I'm not a soldier, I wasn't there, and fuck you, I'm going to judge what they did. Don't fucking give me that "You don't know what they were going through" or whatever bullshit answer, because that just doesn't cut it. That kind of answer works in cases of accidentally shooting someone maybe, but not when soldiers do something like this: "Al-Yasseri and the other prisoners arrived at the Hard Site with empty sandbags over their heads to prevent them from seeing where they were and their hands bound behind their backs with plastic handcuffs. The guards threw the men against the walls until they collapsed on the floor in what [Pvt. Lynndie] England called a `dog pile.' Some of the MPs took turns running across the room and leaping on top of the men. `A couple of the detainees kind of man an "ah" sound, as if their hurt them or caused them some type of pain,' Spc. Jeremy Sivits testified in a sworn statements. While the Iraqis were on the floor, England and Sgt. Javal Davis stomped on their fingers and feet. Sivits was certain that the men felt pain this time because he heard them scream." After this, a sergeant discovered what was going on and told them to stop. They appeared to do so until that sergeant was gone and then stripped the men naked and proceeded to physically abuse them. This ultimately resulted in the famous "naked pyramid" that we've all seen and then escalated further: "Two were posed as if performing oral sex on each other, and others were lined up against the wall and forced to masturbate while England pointed at their genitals and leered. And all the while, the Americans were laughing, cracking jokes and taking pictures." (From "The Secret Files Of Abu Ghraib" by Osha Gray Davidson from Rolling Stone issue 955 August 19, 2004 pages 48-51.)

People say this stuff is the exception to the rule; not the behaviour happening often at the prison, but that this behaviour doesn't represent America or the American military accurately. Please. The sad thing is, it represents humanity honestly and anyone who doesn't think so is kidding themselves. In the meantime, fuck the military. I have no sympathy for them anymore.

The Day After

Looking back on the previous piece, I don't know quite what to say. I don't know how much I agree with it, but hey, that happens all the time, you know? I have this "policy" (for lack of a better word) where I don't apologise for things I say. It's not my place to contradict myself like that. If I said it, I meant it and apologising would be a betrayal of myself. It's harsh and it's mean and it probably goes a little too far, but I meant it at the time. It doesn't matter that I was extremely angry and that now I've calmed down. Hell, maybe being calm about it is wrong. I don't know. Maybe there is no right and wrong in regards to this. Just thought I'd add that.

John Kerry Is A Fucking Moron

When asked if knowing then what he knows now, would he, John Kerry, still vote to give authorization to Bush to go to war in Iraq, the stupid fucking bastard said he would. As some may be quick to point out, technically--technically--he said he wouldn't vote for war, just give the president the power to declare it. That's what I call partisan bullshit and it just shows that Kerry isn't really all that great. Oh, he's against the war now, but he'd still let it happen anyways, because somehow in his magical fantasy world there's a difference between giving someone you know is going to start a war the power to do so and actually starting it yourself. There isn't. Truly America is fucked come November no matter what. I'm convinced of it now.