Shut Up And Listen 177

Why I Love George W. Bush, Jr.

Two weeks ago, I wrote a column where I gave a brief explanation for why I really fucking hate George Bush. This week, I decided to tell you what it is about the guy that I like. This should prove nothing if not interesting, eh?

The first reason why I like Bush is his persistence. If what we've been told is true and that he wanted to attack Iraq ever since he was elected, his persistence in that goal was amazing. Everything he did seemed to be pushing for that. He said he was going to do it and by god, he did it. I don't agree with what he wanted to do, but I do admire that he stuck to it. Wouldn't take "But he didn't have anything to do with September 11!" for answer and kept pushing forward.

He's doing the same thing now with that anti-gay marriage amendment. He's got his mind set on it and he's really pushing for it, and if the whole Iraq situation is any indication, he'll get the job done, by any means necessary. If you agree with what he wants to do, then he's a great guy to have on your side. If you don't, well, then he's a worthy adversary.

The second thing I like about Bush, honestly, is how fun and easy he makes my job. The guy really is an opinion columnist's dream. You start with his mangling of the English language, move to the lying and obvious corruption, and finish with his staff, and let's be honest, you've got one hell of an entertaining guy. I almost wish he gets re-elected just so I've got four more years of George Bush to kick around. I would have been lost these past three-and-a-half years without him. Do you think Al Gore would have given me this much material? Hell no! George Bush is anything but boring. He gets people talking, he's controversial, he's flamboyant, and he's just got that "love him or hate him" way about him. I just love hating him. Is this what living in the time of Nixon was like?

The third reason I like Bush is that his supporters have made me take a closer look at the Democrats. Often, their defence of Bush is "Well, Clinton did this . . ." and that has made me take a good look at Bill Clinton and I've come to the conclusion that he sucked ass too. Bush and his Republicans have made me fully realise that the Democrats are horrible, scumsucking, piece of shit party too. I always kind of suspected it, but these past four years have proven it. The way they just roll over and do what they're told most of the time sickens me. Hell, by comparison, the Republicans have made themselves look a little better, because at least they will say what they believe in and stand by it. Luckily, I'm a Canadian and my hating both parties in the US isn't that big of a deal.

Continuing upon that theme, Bush has been such a polarizing man that he has shown us where everyone stands. There is no middle ground, the line in the sand is there, and if you're on that side, you're no friend of mine, motherfucker! There is Us and there are Them and never shall the two meet. It is a paranoid man's fantasy. I know where you all are and what you think now, and can act accordingly. Don't confuse us with the Democrats though, they just happen to be on Our side of the line, we're not on their side. There is Bush and then there is Against Bush. That is the state of the world now. It may be fearful and horrible, but it is comforting in that "everything is out in the open" kind of way that you don't always have.

The fourth reason is that now my "irrational" distrust and near-hatred of America doesn't seem so irrational. Never have I talked to more Americans who actually think I'm almost one hundred percent correct. Bush has created a world where everyone, even Americans, is free to despise and hate America. I'm not saying hating America is a good thing, but from someone who's always had a level of distrust and wariness about the place, it is nice to have a few more people agree with you instead of being left out in the cold with the "terrorist scum" and "French people".

And lastly, I love George Bush, because there's a good chance that he will be directly responsible for things being made better. He has shown us how fucked up things could get. Well, not really, as things could get far more fucked up, but he's shown us a level of fucked-up-ness that has caused many to become very disturbed and anxious about things. We are not a generation to be uncomfortable and Bush has shown us all that we need to take shit far more seriously because who's put in charge does matter and can make a difference. Best to actually get someone who's one of Us instead of one of Them.

There you have it. What started out as a very sincere column on the good points of George W. Bush, Jr. has descended in a rude screed about paranoia, the horrible conditions of the world, hating America, and general fucked-up-ness. You can thank the man for that. Send him my love while you're at it.