Shut Up And Listen 163

Forever A Political Commentator I Shall Be

I've been asked from time to time if I'd ever want to go into politics. You know, people who read my column (all four of you), or people who hear that I'm talking political science in school. It's just natural, I guess, for people to think that anyone who is interested in politics must want to be a politician. Now me, I want to change the world and make it better in whatever way I can, and usually that means either becoming a politician or an activist. I have no interest in either.

I would not be a successful politician and right now the shit with John Kerry is a good example. Did he throw his medals? Did he throw his ribbons? How much money does his wife have? All that bullshit is coming out now that he's running for president. Imagine me as a politician. You guys have read the shit I say. I'd get killed because of it. If only because I probably wouldn't be able to stop saying it. I'm too honestly opinionated for politics. I get asked my views on religion and next think you know, I've offended ninety percent of the electorate. I couldn't just lie. I mean, I could, but I wouldn't.

I might be able to win back some support during debates where there would be very good chances I'd start yelling at my opponent, "What the fuck? Are you fucking stupid? Do you listen to yourself speak? That was just about the dumbest piece of bullshit I've ever heard said in my presence! You honestly can't think that unless you literally get off on fucking people over! Anybody who buys into this crap needs to get their fucking head examined!" Some people might like that, but it would probably piss others off. Sure, most of them probably wouldn't vote for me anyways, but then there's that group who don't like swearing. For some reason a word like fuck personally offends them. Maybe a giant fuck ate their grandma.

So, obviously, me being a politician is out. That still leaves stuff like a speechwriter or campaigner, right? I don't know. I know me, and I'd need to be personally involved to do that shit. Actually believe in it and the person, and frankly, I could never really support a politician. Any politician. For all the same reason that I couldn't be a politician, I couldn't support anyone who didn't have those characteristics. Honestly, tell me the last politician you truly respected as a person. Not just for a moment where they actually did something decent, but for a good period of time. Canadians, who was the last Prime Minister you respected? Americans, the last President?

Why the fuck would I want to work for one of those people? Why the fuck would I want to be one of those people?

I'd much rather sit back and watch it happen. Don't get me wrong, I love politics, I just hate the players. Much more fun to watch and comment on what happens. But then again, it's easier to destroy rather than create, too, isn't it? I mean, that is the motto of the current presidential campaigns it appears.