Shut Up And Listen 158

So, This Is Growing Up?

Legally, I've been an adult for over three years. I've been able to buy alcohol and cigarettes for over two. This past January, I turned the age where no matter where I go worldwide, I'm a total adult. So why don't I feel like one?

Last Saturday, my friend Matt and I were sitting in the mall food court, eating subs after seeing Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. Looking around, what did we see? Teenagers. And man, we fucking despise those little shits. When did that happen? When did the sight of teenagers just make me go "What bunch of fucking jackasses!"? Then as we were leaving the mall, we walked past a group of teenage girls, who were maybe fifteen, sixteen, and I said to Matt, "You know, I don't find those girls attractive in the least."

He replied, "Yeah."

"When did that happen? When did they go from being hot to being just some teenage girls?"

"I don't know."

Matt has graduated from college already. I'm almost done my second year of university. And we're both basically the same people we were in high school. Oh sure, there are minor changes and shit, but nothing substantive. I still live at home in the same room and shit. He just moved back home from living at his grandparents. We have friends who are getting married. People our age. Married. And we're still the same people.

I have other friends who are the exact same way. What exactly is growing up? When does one become an adult exactly? And why is it that girls I once would have spent sleepless nights dreaming about are now just teenage girls at the mall that I find totally annoying an unappealing?

Last Thursday, we all piled into two cars and went to Toronto. About halfway there, I suddenly realised that I had to be an adult somewhat for that to be happening. I know, it's not a big thing, but it's just one of those moments when you think, "When exactly did I get to the point where I could just decide to get in the cars with my friends and go somewhere?" When did that happen?

I don't know, it's just I've been thinking about this for a while and all I have are a lot of questions and very few answers. Is being an adult some arbitrary age? Like, was it before I was eighteen, I wasn't able to make an educated decision when voting in an election and then suddenly when I turned eighteen I was an educated, responsible person with an eye for politics? Was I better suited to drink after turning nineteen than before?

Look at me. I'm twenty-one, I live at home, I barely have a job in a work study program, I go to school, I spend my evenings watching TV and doing shit online, I do all my papers for school the night before, I do some of the readings I'm supposed to have, I have no girlfriend, no social life, I spend large amounts of time writing comic scripts and other forms of writing that all but four people seem to give a shit about, and I'm too lazy to get a haircut. How am I really any different from how I was three yeas ago?

What separates the man from the boy?

Can somebody please tell me? Because I don't know.