Shut Up And Listen 156

On The Morality Of The Twenty-First Century

I've been over this with you all before, but it looks like I'm gonna have to walk you through it again because you just aren't getting the message. I'll start with a few facts.

Fact Number One: TVs and radios have off-buttons.
You don't like what's on? Turn it off! Change the channel, or station! It's not hard. I do it all the time. Don't try and censor stuff because you're too fucking stupid to work your TV and radio. And yes, if you can't think to just change the channel, then you are stupid. Stop being stupid!

Fact Number Two: You're bad parents.
Oh, you may argue differently, but face it, you're bad parents. If you were good parents, you'd monitor what your kids watch and listen to and teach them to turn the channel, rather than force all the content to somehow conform to standards which you think will make everything safe for them to watch, because you can't be bothered to actually pay attention to what they watch and would rather all of the networks do that for you. Stop being shitty parents!

Fact Number Three: You're not good, decent Americans.
Sorry, but you're not. Oh, you may support the troops and your president all that bullshit, but unless you support the things America is supposed to be built on, then you're just unpatriotic. There's an amendment you may have heard of that guarantees free speech. It's built on two fundamental ideas: 1) People can say, show, think, whatever anything they want. 2) You can choose not to pay attention. This all goes back to fact number one. Stop being unpatriotic!

Fact Number Four: It was barely a nipple-shot!
Seriously. That was nothing. I've seen more at the beach. And there are tons of kids there who don't seem warped by the scantly-clad women. Stop making a mountain out of a non-nipple!

Now that we've gone over those four simple facts, maybe you'll see now that you're all a bunch of stupid douche bags. I know you don't want to be stupid douche bags, and there are ways to stop being them. Here is my nice two-step program. Yes, it only takes two steps.

Step One: Start taking personal responsibility.
It's your TV, your radio, and your money. Don't want to watch it? Don't. Don't want to listen to it? Don't. Don't want to buy it? Don't. It's not hard. It's what the rest of us do. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean others don't and you have no right to try and force them to like what you like. Sure, talk to them, maybe preach a bit, but stop with all of this trying to force content to conform to your standards. Some of us like swearing and nudity. It's great. I love me some naked lesbians who cuss like sailors. That's what I call a good time, but I know not everyone likes that, so I don't try and force TV stations to just show that. Come on, I don't censor your stuff, don't censor mine. Start taking personal responsibility!

Step Two: Start teaching your kids personal responsibility.
I'd hate for my kids to have to listen to your kids saying the same shit you're saying now, so teach your kids to take personal responsibility. It's not the TV's fault if there's a nipple and you keep watching. Tell them that. They've got to learn this, or they'll keep on blaming everyone else for shit that's really their fault. Do you want them to do that? Do you want them to be spoiled little shits who think that everything wrong in their lives is somehow separate from their actions? Of course you don't! You're no longer bad parents! Start teaching your kids personal responsibility!

Do those two things and the world will be far better off than if Howard Stern and Janet Jackson were both shot off into space. Seriously.