Shut Up And Listen 70

The Root Of Criminal Behaviour
I live in a town full of the smartest cops and principals ever. I’m serious here. They have come up with an excellent way to keep gangs out of high schools here in London. It is the most ingenious plan to curb gang activity I’ve ever heard. You want to know what it is so you can spread the word to your police and school systems? You sure you’re ready for it? It’ll blow your mind!
	Ban bandanas. 
	I’ll say it again so you can grasp the genius of it. Ban bandanas. Great, isn’t it? Yes, they say that preventing students from wearing bandanas will lower gang-related activity. It’s official, people: bandanas cause gangs to form.
	That’s right, bandanas cause groups of people to gather and participate in criminal activities. Without bandanas the urge to commit crimes will just disappear and all gangs will be gone. Remember the criminals of the Wild West? What did they wear over their faces to hide their identities? Bandanas. What do many members of biker gangs like the Hell’s Angels and such wear? Bandanas. How about the Bloods and the Crips? Bandanas.
	With all this evidence it is obvious to anyone with an IQ of 5 that bandanas are indeed the source of all criminal activity in the world.
	I fear though that banning bandanas will not be enough. Hats of any kind should be banned too, I think. I’ve seen groups of people together who all wore hats. I’m pretty sure they were a gang. So hats should be gone too.
	One time, at school I saw this large group of students accosting another group of students from another school. I knew they were from another school because they weren’t wearing the red, black and grey of my school. Everyone involved had headgear on too. And these were big guys too. Probably the biggest guys in the school. I think the fight was over a ball of some sort. Small, oval-ish and brown. The strangest thing was that I saw teachers and other students standing around cheering on this obvious gang-related activity. I later saw this same gang hanging out in the forum of my school, celebrating their “victory” over the rival gang.
	That’s right, school-sanctioned gangs. I know you’re as shocked and outraged as I am. Obviously they can’t be trusted to handle this problem. They’ve started this fight and, by god, we’ll finish it!
	Headgear isn’t the only sign of affiliation. I’ve seen groups of people dressed in similar clothes too. I saw this video from years back where this group of men were using little black sticks to beat a man into submission. I believe this was out in Los Angeles. The men were wearing dark-coloured uniforms with matching belts, shirts, pants and hats. The men were put on trial, but got off as criminals often do.
	The problem is that our society promotes people forming little social groups based on interests that separate them from everyone else. This must be stopped. I have come up with two options. 
In the first one, everyone would dress the exact same. They would all live in houses that are identical. Everyone would watch the same TV shows, read the same books, the same newspapers, listen to the same music, and eat the same food. Everyone would be the exact same for everyone, therefore eliminating any little social circles or gangs.
	The second option is the opposite where social interaction strictly forbidden. No one would have anything to do with anyone else. Different clothes for everyone. Different interests for everyone. People live alone and never interact with anyone else.
	Both solutions would solve all the gang-related problems in schools everywhere. Either one should be implemented immediately if we hope to stop the problem for good.
	I’ll get started on finding illogical solutions to stopping non-gang-related criminals now.