Shut Up And Listen 63

Becoming A Stalker
Knock at the door. Who the fuck is that? Open the door. A camera? I’ve won? I’m going to become a rock star? Oh. My. Gawd!
	So, it’s Sunday. It’s twenty after five in the afternoon. I’ve spent the afternoon reading, listening to music, playing video games and watching TV. What I see right now is a monstrosity of a show called “Becoming A Rock Star” on Much Music. It’s an MTV production, but Much shows it on Sundays at five (and then later at eight, I think). On this show, they get regular people to act out the parts of certain rock stars in music videos. They’ve done Limp Bizkit, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and for this episode, the quartet who did Lady Marmalade. 
	I have a hard time knowing whether to laugh or cringe half the time when this show is on.
	You hear lines like “I like this because Jessica likes this” and “It’s like I’m really her!” And the people who say it mean it. It is very freaky.
	Essentially, what we have here is a show that promotes the idea of being a celebrity. Now, though, they’ve taken it to the point where you don’t become famous for being who you are. No, you get to be on TV and get your fifteen minutes for being someone else. And not in that “well, an actor is famous for being someone else” kind of way.
	In the course of the show, the people are given a variety of free items based on who they are becoming. The way they react is rather disturbing. That’s where the “I like this because Jessica likes this” comment comes in. Sure, free stuff is great, but it’s the reason why they like the free stuff that disturbs me. 
	The show promotes a stalker-like obsession with pop stars.
	It’s one thing to be a fan of someone and what they do, but to want to become them . . . Fuck, that really freaks me out.
	In the show, the people who are being emulated always talk to the emulator somehow and wish them luck and such. It must be very, very weird for them though. Talking to someone who is going to pretend to be you. And sometimes how the emulators talk to them . . . It’s just weird is what it is.
	But, apparently people watch this crap, so I’m going to announce the first ever “Becoming Someone On The Chevett Site” contest. Just e-mail me at chad@thechevett.tk and tell me who you want to be on the site and why. Do you want to be Karl because . . . well, for some reason. Or do you want to be Rick because . . . I have no idea. Or do you want to be me because . . . I think no one wants to be me. If I select you, for one week you get to be who you want. You’ll get to write that person’s column, get an e-mail from that person giving you tips or whatever, and get an e-mail from me saying “Where’s my fucking column?” 
	Actually, if someone enters this, I’ll be very, very surprised.