Shut Up And Listen 55

Porn Is Down, King Chucky, And Destroying The Constitution
The word is in: money is more popular than sex. A recent study shows that business has surpassed porn as the most searched for thing online. What has the world come to when people want material possessions more than they want tits? A moral landslide is in progress, people.
	Meanwhile, the Queen Mum died last weekend. They say that Prince Chucky will have to step-up his duties with the Royal Family because we all know the Queen Mum ran the entire place. Because one hundred and one year old people do everything. Seriously, if Canada doesn’t break ties while Elizabeth is still large and in charge, then we damn well better when Chucky is King, because I refuse to live in a Nation where the monarch is that dick. His big ears and all . . .
	In the Middle East, people are dying because of not enough thinking a few decades back. I think the Jews deserved their own nation and that where Israel is now was the best place, but seriously, what did the UN really think was going to happen with the Palestinians? Did they think they’d just go “Ah well, it was a good home, but time to leave because Hitler and tons of Europeans were dickheads”? But this is, like most global conflicts, a war of religion. Everyone wants Jerusalem, and apparently, they can’t share. It’s not like the Islam faith is a direct descendent of the Jewish faith or anything, and that the city has pretty much the same meaning to both. I’m just waiting for the Bible Belt to demand that the US takeover Jerusalem because it’s significant to Christians, too.
	Can’t wait for the offshoot of Islam . . .
	The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup, the New York Yankees will win the World Series and the Dream Team will win the NBA championship (it’s a long-shot, I know, but it will happen). The fixes are in, people. Time for them to join the Patriots in the winners’ circle.
	If you don’t think racism still exists, even in middle-class suburban life, go ask the people I used to hang out with about Jewish people, Middle-Eastern people, or anyone else who isn’t like them: dumb white trash. (And I didn’t hang out with them because of their views. It wasn’t like I was part of one of those fucked up KKK groups or anything.) One day, I was talking about sigils and one of them asked how to do it, so I showed him because we were bored and it killed five minutes. So he proceeded to make that said I WANT ALL THE JEWS TO DIE. And then burned it, in an effort to charge it (which I don’t think works, but I might be wrong). If I had any physical strength, I would have kicked the crap out of the asshole. In this day and age . . .
	Apparently, my coverage of American politics on the occasion makes my mom think I’m going to move to the states. Never mind the fact that all I do is insult America and those who rule it. As Strat, the American Filthy Assistant put it, “I hate America.”
	What I must know is, why do Americans think a large chunk of the world, including other democratic, non-dictatorship nations, not like America all that much? We’re not all crazy or jealous or want to destroy freedom, as it is put. But never mind taking a long, hard look at what you’re doing. America is Right, and America is The Best (though I should remind Americans again that they weren’t first in the most recent UN study on standards of living—neither was Canada, but we ranked higher).
	There’s nothing quite like watching cars being stopped by strikers and laughing during a second period spare. A bunch of government workers are on strike, and have been for four weeks now, and right next to our school is CPRI (children’s psych hospital). These people are on strike, and it’s fun to sit in my nice warm cafetorium and laugh at them, and the cars they stop for up to ten minutes. Outgoing Premier Mike Harris caused this and then said, “Leave it for the new guy.” And people deny that he’s a sick fuck.
	Couple weeks back there was some heavy weather. Big snow, temperatures that could freeze you on the spot, cars crashing into each other like all their drivers were blind, and those strikers abandoned their picket line! Hey, the weather was shit, sure, but you don’t abandon your post. No dignity, those folks. Anyone can strike in good weather, but it takes balls to strike in weather that can kill you.
	The strikers have had it hard though. Two of them were hit one day at CPRI by a woman who didn’t want to wait. Then a few were shot with paintballs by a van. The people who have it the hardest at the prisoners at the jails. See, guards are provincial employees, but management is not (well, not the same union), so management are stuck doing everything everywhere, including in prisons. Apparently there were some near-riots because prisoners were being kept in their cells for 23 hours a day and not allowed the luxuries they were accustomed to. Imagine that, prison was uncomfortable. It’s sad when prisoners are that accustomed to the Good Life that they almost riot when they don’t get recess. 
	Ever notice how people have a tendency to treat animals better than people? Like today, I get woken up by my sister’s loud voice. I go downstairs and complain about it and I get a “Who cares, you should be up anyways.” Later, I come down the stairs and the cat wakes up, and my other sister turns and yells at me for waking up the cat. Me, who’s lucky to get eight hours of sleep compared to the cat who gets 20 hours of sleep. Me, who has a hard time getting back to sleep after being woken up compared to the cat who looked at her, yawned and was asleep again within thirty seconds of me coming down the stairs.
	And then there’s the issue of euthanasia. If an animal is injured or has a terminal disease, and will suffer before dying, what do we do? We alleviate any suffering it may have and “put it to sleep.” When a human has a terminal disease, and will suffer before dying, what do we do? Make it suffer. So, it’s wrong to let an animal suffer, but letting a person suffer is okay?
	That reminds me of this joke a comedian told that Lunchbox just loves (this is paraphrased): “So, I was thinking of getting a dog, but then realised that where I live wouldn’t be the best place to have one. Small apartment in Manhattan isn’t a good place for a dog to be all day. And then I realised that I live in a place I wouldn’t even keep a dog.”
	The Alliance party is trying to take the power away from the Liberals in Canadian politics. That is their chief priority. These are their plans: get rid of the Charter Of Rights And Freedoms, sell water to the US, deport any non-Canadian national who gets in any trouble with the law, get rid of the Gun Registration Act, make federal positions no longer require bilingualism, and my favourite of all, only need 5% of the voting population to hold a referendum. That is the equivalent of 15 national ridings and could mean referendums all the fucking time on any issue. 15 ridings isn’t much. That could give the Parti Quebecquois the power to keep holding referendum after referendum after referendum for as long as they have the supporters. Gotta love a platform that essentially promotes racism, the selling of national resources to the supposed richest country in the world (but can’t seem to get its own damn water), the elimination of the Canadian constitution, give anyone the power to own a gun, and could divide Canada into arguing and fighting forever.
	So my sister says to my mom one night at supper, “Mom, can I volunteer for that Hoops For Hearts thing again?”
	Mom says, “Yeah, sure.”
	Sister says, “I need to raise $25 first.”
	To volunteer, she has to pay. Con artists, televangelists and thieves, look to the charities, they know how to get money easily. I know most volunteers would donate some money anyways, but I must ask, isn’t volunteering enough anymore? You not only have to give up your time for a cause, but you have to pay to give up your time to help the cause.