Shut Up And Listen 101

So This Is Growing Up
So I’m sitting outside my English 020 class on Tuesday. There’s half an hour between it and my Political Science 020 class, so I generally just go straight from poli-sci to it and wait. There were four or five people waiting also. One of the girls in my class came and sat next to one who had been waiting. The one who had already been waiting lefts her left hand and says those words that seem so out of place for a first year uni student:
	“I’m engaged.”
	Holy fucking shit, I thought. This girl is my age, actually, she’s probably younger than me as my birthday’s in January, and she’s fucking engaged! I haven’t even had a girlfriend (well, except for Fiona that summer in between grades seven and eight, but that doesn’t count in any serious way) and she’s fucking engaged to be fucking married!
	Ever since, I’ve been a little self-conscious of myself. Well, more so than usual. What’s else is that while listening to the conversation that ensued, there’s someone engaged in the same class.
	Shit.
	Okay, it’s not just about them being engaged and me never having a girlfriend. That’s part of it, I’ll admit, but that’s not all. I don’t know, I guess it’s just too grown-up for me. Despite my age, I still feel sixteen (and yes, I know some people would love to feel sixteen again). I can’t seem to get out of the mindset of my younger self. I’ve changed a lot since then, but I feel like I haven’t. But then again, does anyone ever feel like they’ve changed? I guess it’s kind of like being around someone so much that you don’t notice them growing up or changing. People are always with themselves so that even though they change, they don’t notice it happening. 
	The biggest case of this with me is something I’ve been reflected upon recently. Back in grade ten we read Catcher In The Rye and our teacher was going on and on and on and on about symbolism and shit like that. It was then that I made a vow to never use symbolism or any of that shit in my writing. Ever. Well guess what happened?
	Yes, I’ve begun using symbolism and having stories “be about something”. Superfucks is the best example of that. I mean, it is full of shit that would disgust my younger self as far as meaning goes. And it happened without me even noticing until recently. 
	Strange how something like someone getting engaged often makes people re-examine their lives.

Shut Up And Listen 101
I’ve been writing this column for almost two years now. Two years. Every week (except that one when Troy did it). In that time, I’ve learned a lot about writing a weekly column and that’s what I’m going to impart upon you now.

Tip #1: don’t start writing a weekly column. Seriously. It’s hell most of the time.

Tip #2: if you’re going to write a weekly column, write one EVERY week and do it the same time every week. Make it part of your routine, so that it always gets done.

Tip #3: if you have more than one idea, by all means, write more than one column. Get a few in the can. That will help in the future.

Tip #4: don’t worry too much if the column sucks every once in a while. You can’t be great every week.

Tip #5: let the emotions take hold every once in a while. When you’re talking about something you feel strongly about, let it show. Don’t hold back.

Tip #6: don’t care if people like it or not. Seriously, write to yourself and fuck everyone else. If they don’t like it, so what?

Tip #7: seriously, write one every week. It’s frustrating as a reader to not get a column every week from a weekly columnist.

Tip #8: don’t be afraid to repeat yourself. So what if you attacked the president last week? Do it again!

Tip #9: be creative. Don’t stick to a script format. Experiment a bit. Try new things out.

Tip #10: seriously, don’t do it. I’d stop if I could, but it’s too much a part of my life to just quit now.