The Best Of Shut Up and Listen: Year One 2—Column 13

This column is one of the best examples of the columns I did on a day-to-day basis. You never quite knew what you 
were going to get. It's a mixture of serious subjects with those that are too funny. Of course, a lot of what's written here 
could be seen as very offensive, but when have I ever not written stuff like that? My rant on how I would treat 
prisoners. Or how I deem the handicapped as people with problems like everyone else and not as "heroes." Or my 
trying to put sexism on equal ground both ways. I think I'm spot on about those things, and I'm sure many people 
would agree, but some are most likely offended. 
	I totally forgot about my "What if . . .?" story until reading it again, and I still love it. Too bad that Canada 
kicked ass, eh?
	And I have yet to find out if chicks can tell. I really should try harder on that.
The Gravest of Punishments
They killed that McVeigh guy today and while I don't support capital punishment, I won't be losing much sleep 
tonight. The guy was scum, no sense crying over losing that bastard.
	The way I see it though, killing is just an easy way out for the criminal. My plan is cruel and would probably 
deter better than what they've got. I say lock every criminal up in a five foot by five foot by five foot cell with only a 
drain in the middle and a showerhead in the roof. They're given food every other day. That would be punishment. 
Everyone gets solitary. No TV; no workout room; no ass raping; nothing. The way I see it, the minute you infringe on 
another's basic rights, you lose yours. It's a trade.
	Now, this would also come with reform for what crimes we punish. Drugs don't get jail time. Crimes 
committed under the influence of drugs get punished. People are way too lenient on criminals. "Oh, that poor serial 
killer doesn't get HBO. Better call amnesty international in on this one."
	Hey, think about shit like that the next time some fucker has a gun pointed at your head, wanting your purse or 
wallet. We've got better things in the world than the rights of criminals to worry about. If people put as much work into 
helping the poor or preventing crime as they do protesting pieces of shit like McVeigh being put to death then the 
world would much better off in my opinion. 

The Mathematical Equation That Proves All Women Are Evil
Women take time and money.
Women = time X money
But, time = money, so . . .
Women = money X money = money2
Money is the root of all evil, so . . .
Money = ?evil
Women = (?evil)2
Women = evil
	Funny shit, right?

Funny Guy
Okay, Grizzly Adams has got to be the funniest guy I know and he doesn't even try.
	Today, we're sitting at our table and I point out a table left cluttered with garbage and how that's a disgrace. 
Grizzly Adams tells Tubby Bitch to then throw out his garbage. Tubby Bitch says no. I tell him to. He tells me if I 
order him again, he'll kick me. So I say that Grizzly Adams tells him to pick it up. Tubby Bitch says that he doesn't 
care what Grizzly Adams says. And what did Grizzly Adams say?
	"Hey. I represent god, you fuck." 

Heroes
Today's "Hero of the Day" is . . . Lunchbox! He bought me, Little Man Rump, and Tubby Bitch cones today at 
McDonald's.
	Now, on a separate note about heroes. Last night I was watching Politically Incorrect and they were talking 
about handicapped people. One person mentioned how they are "heroes" and have "more courage than any of us." I say 
bullshit.
	Sure, they got dealt a bad hand, but that by no means makes them more heroic or courageous than me or any 
other "normal" person. I've got some things worse off than them, does that make me a hero? No. 
	As for courage, I'm sure it's hard to deal with something like that at first, but you deal with it and you move 
on. That doesn't make you any more courageous than the next guy. Sorry, but it's true.
	People have got problems of all sorts. It's life. Deal with it.

Alternate History
What if the US won the War of 1812?
	I'll tell you: they would have then proceeded to conquer Britain and then cool their jets in around 1818. Then 
in 1838 they would begin their campaign to conquer all of Europe. They get France with relative ease. Italy changes 
sides more times than can be counted. The Allied Forces finally stop them in 1845: Germany, Japan and Russia. The 
USA is then driven back to having just their country, but some of it is given to Britain and Canada as reparations. 
	That would have been interesting.

Know More Than They Let On?
Something I've always wondered is if chicks can tell when I like them? Do you know?
	Lunchbox says it's a matter of subtlety. I asked if I'm subtle and he said he couldn't tell because of his 
knowledge he could always tell. 
	I would ask a chick who I like or have liked, but that would be revealing some stuff I don't want to be known. 

The Weather Outside Is Frightful
It's fucking hot. Now it's thundering and lightning and pouring out and the power flickered a bit. I hate the heat and 
humidity that summer brings. Hopefully we'll get central air soon and then I won't have to put up with it inside.

Sexism-"It's Not Just For Women Anymore!"
In religion we've been doing projects that focus on social justice in-groups as a big final thing. I presented yesterday; 
my topic was peace/violence. It was okay.
	Today, I saw a pretty good presentation about sexism put on by four girls and Dream Conception. It had a bit 
of an anti-men tone to it. They defined sexism as "discrimination against women based on sex." This left the question 
of women cannot be sexist against men?
	I freely admit in the past, and still in the present to a lesser extent, that men have treated women like shit a lot. 
I hate it, too. Sexism is wrong. I agree with men and women being equal. But for some women that isn't good enough. 
Men are the enemy and must be crushed, because all men re evil vile creatures not worthy of respect.
	To those women I say: fuck you. I don't discriminate against women or treat them any less than males. I treat 
people according to their personality and intellect. If I meet a dumb girl I'll treat her just like I'd treat a dumb guy.
	They say women are viewed as sex objects, which I also admit is true sometimes. But men today aren't? At 
our year-end assembly there was a senior dance routine featuring senior students. When the guys danced wearing dress 
shirts over undershirts and khaki pants, the girls yelled more disgusting and demeaning comments than the guys did by 
a lot. Women today are often just as bad as guys, if not worse.
	The business world seems to be the only place where women are not treated as equals in North America. 
Everywhere else they are equals or men's superiors. Relationships: women. Every guy is whipped, that's a fact. Like 
I've said before, if a girl asks me to do something, unless it's something really bad, I do it without question. I've let 
girls play with my hair, for god's sake.
	This is a problem I see in almost every movement for equal rights; the oppressed often become just as bad the 
oppressors. Women become sexist against men. Blacks become racist against whites. They become that which they 
fight. The oppressors aren't the enemy. The basic idea of one group being superior to another is the enemy; and before 
you learn that you can't really fight for equality.