Shut Up And Listen 43 Gone Clubbin’ It’s Saturday night and like many people, I’ve gone clubbin’. Troy and I hit all the clubs and take notes on the most disturbing, disgusting and degrading sites. And many of them there are indeed. Places where the people gathered are the sickest freaks you will ever see. Weird fetishes are explored in groups numbering in the thousands. Welcome to the world of yahoo clubs. For those who are not aware, yahoo clubs are little online clubs that one can join to discuss a shared interest. Sounds harmless enough, but remember one thing: this is the online world. It is not the real world. The online world is populated by people just interested in their sick turn-ons. They want nothing but to fulfill their own twisted desires; and they want to do it as often as possible. So, essentially, it’s like the real world. My first stop was in the category of communities and cultures, and then into the sub-category of groups. First on the list was a club for women weight lifters. Weird, sure, but not as weird as the second: Pictures of women lifting and carrying. It’s a club with pictures of chicks lifting and carrying things. The founder expresses his plight of never being able to find these kinds of pictures in the past, so he created a community to find them for him. The women are not doing anything that special, just picking things up and not dropping them until instructed to do so. And these people get off on it. I’ve seen all sorts of sick and twisted things online, but none quite as twisted in this sad way. Over two thousand people jerking off (or whatever they like to call it) to some 16-year old giving a piggyback ride to her 2-year old cousin. Good old-fashioned fun if you ask me. If that doesn’t get your juices flowing this next one will: naked relatives. You read that right. Naked relatives. People congregate there to show pics of mommy and daddy and sister and grandpa all in the buff or engaged in all sorts of nasty things. I wasn’t allowed to see the pics as I am not a member, but after talking to Troy I almost joined where one of us said something that made it less sickening from my perspective: it’s not my relatives. That is true. These pics are not my or your relatives (at least, I hope they’re not your relatives) so what’s the big deal? Glad you asked. The big deal is supporting a piece of shit club like this. You wanna see some hot naked chick, right? I know you do. So why see pics taken by her brother when you can find some decent ones taken by a boyfriend? Then of course there’s the sub-category of groups for the “transgendered.” Ever wanted to see a chick with a dick? How about a guy with a set of double D’s? Or maybe guys who always wanted to be schoolgirls? That’s right, it’s not just cross-dressing teenage boys, it’s adults who always wanted to be little schoolgirls, so dress up as them just for you and the camera. Imagine if you would, a fifty-five year old accountant, who after the kids and wifey go off to bed takes his 17-year old daughter’s kilt and dress-shirt, slips them on and then does a little show for the webcam, while other similar guys watch, loving it up. In an effort to find something a little less risqué, I tried the schools and education category. A place of learning, information and teenage breasts, displayed for all the world to see. Seriously, out of top ten or twenty clubs, a good 70% were about naked chicks. Is nothing sacred? Can not a person go to yahoo clubs and to the educational section and not be asked if he is a hot catholic schoolgirl and if I would like to show my tits? These are not rare occurrences either. You think these people are alone or that their numbers are small? They aren’t. How many of you may check out some porn shit, but never join anything to do with it? Only the minority joins things like this. Take the numbers they have and multiply them by ten to get those who look at it online. And what of those not online? Double or maybe triple that number. And then remember that not the entire world has the net. Odds are, your next-door neighbour is slipping into something a little less comfortable while a woman born a man who wishes he was a cow, has sex with them an their niece who is dressed as a proctologist’s nurse that enjoys skiing, ancient objects d’art, and being eaten out by gramsy.