Shut Up and Listen 40

Psycho Niner Chick
So, Mr. Anarchy's been hanging out with this girl he met on his bus. He gets stoned and such with her. I 
call her Psycho Niner Chick, because really, that's what she is.
	Today, I spent the entire day with her and Mr. Anarchy—Lunchbox and Tubby Bitch stayed 
around for a while, but not the entire time. No class as it's the last day and why would anyone go? But 
that's not what I want to talk about. 
	I want to talk about Psycho Niner Chick and why I'm worried about her.
	You see, Psycho Niner Chick has some problems. First off, she cuts herself. You should see her 
arms all covered in scars and scabs. Every once in a while, she will pull out a needle and thread and sew 
little stitches in her arm or hand. She'll stick needles into her arms, just under the skin. She claims to be a 
masochist, but I don't buy that. I don't know why some people decide to do that. I've known others who 
have done that too, and they always act like it isn't a big deal, and why people like me always make it out 
to be one. Honestly, I can't tell you exactly why it's such a big deal and why I think it's wrong. My only 
explanation is that taking a sharp knife or needle or something of the sort, and cutting you arms just isn't 
natural. It's not like it's a fun thing to do. It hurts, and why would anyone want to hurt themselves for no 
apparent reason.
	And why people who seem to think their lives are shit do it, is beyond me even more. Your life 
sucks and you handle it by bringing yourself more pain? It makes no sense. And none of them seem to have 
an explanation for it either. They just do it because they do it.
	She also mentioned her low self-esteem in certain areas . . . namely all of them. Now, having low 
self-esteem in one area of your life isn't abnormal. We all have something about us that we hate or just 
"know" we suck at. Me, it's my looks and social life (and the first person who tries to contradict me—wait, 
why would anyone do that?). Psycho Niner Chick thinks she's stupid, which she isn't. She seems pretty 
bright and witty. She also calls herself ugly and fat, which is she is by no means. I'd go so far as to say 
she's "hot" (and I would try to hit on her if it weren't for three things: 1) She'd reject me for sure. 2) She's 
a bit "out there" for me. 3) She's in grade nine. Meaning she's 14 years old. Christ, we wouldn't be able to 
do anything legally for four years).
	Talking with her about this just proved me equation about females: a woman's weight is inversely 
related to her perception of her weight. Meaning, if a chick's skinny, she thinks she's fat; and if a chick's 
fat, she thinks she's skinny. Did you ever notice that? How many times have you heard some twig girl 
complaining about how she's the fattest chick to have ever lived? And I swear to god that the next time I 
see some fat as hell woman dressed in a top that leaves nothing to the imagination, I will blow up the 
world.
	Mr. Anarchy and I spent the last ten minutes of the day telling Psycho Niner Chick that she wasn't 
fat, but that did no good. A she herself said it: "It doesn't matter what you say. I'm the one who has to look 
at myself in the mirror everyday."
	The question that's been running through my head ever since is how can help her? I hate to see 
people messed up like this, but I never know how to help them. How do you help a person determined not 
to be helped?
	I don't know, so can someone help me?

I'm Alive!
Do you hear that? That high pitch squeal? It's the wail of the carbon monoxide detector.
	Do hear that other sound? That other high pitch squeal? It's the wail of the second carbon 
monoxide.
	Welcome to my life on Friday night. Okay, you may think that the smoke detector is the scariest 
sound you may hear in your house, but the carbon monoxide one is a thousand times worse. How could we 
tell if it was malfunctioning or there was carbon monoxide in high quantities in the house? We could be 
dead soon for all we knew.
	We called the fire department and left the house so that we wouldn't, you know . . . die of 
asphyxiation. 
	Within three minutes, the big red truck came around the corner and three firemen entered the 
house with CO detectors. They found that inside was a reading of zero and that our detectors were messed 
up.
	I was scared shitless though. Hell, people I was talking to online seemed concerned for my family 
and me. I plead any of you who don't have carbon monoxide detectors, to get them. People often overlook 
getting these in favour of just getting smoke detectors, but how many people do you have to hear about 
with stories that don't quite end as ours and die because of CO poisoning before people clue in and save 
themselves?

Happy Holidays
I'd like to wish everyone out there a happy holidays.