Shut Up And Listen 34 Sunday November 4, 2001 Lazy Sunday Afternoons Here I sit on my bed, typing away, looking out the window, wearing a t-shirt and shorts as Pulp Fiction plays on the TV and I think to myself What's so bad about my life? I mean I live in one of the best countries in the world, have a shitload of stuff, access to the world through technology and my biggest complaint is that I'm not getting laid. It's really more than that; I like the idea and concept of having a girlfriend beyond the sex stuff. But our culture has elevated the idea so much that it consumes most of our thoughts. It is slightly windy out and the ground is covered with leaves. I kind of like autumn; I like it a lot more than spring and a bit more than summer. Winter is my season though. I like the cold, the loneliness, and the darkness, really all the things that people hate about it. You ever walk around during a cold winter's night when it isn't snowing and there's no wind? Best goddamn walk you'll ever take. Sure, it's cold, but it's not that bad. My law mid-term is tomorrow and I haven't started to study as of yet. I know a lot of it already, because I employ a technique that most others do not use: pay attention during class. That is a learning skill that has served me very well so far throughout my schooling. I haven't had to study much up until the past year or so. Stuff like physics requires studying; well, almost any science class does. I really should begin reading the text soon, but I'm just not in the mood. I really feel like reading that Hunter S. Thompson book I picked up at the library yesterday. The same should be said about this physics Website I'm supposed to be building; it requires a lot more work, as I am only on unit one still. Just assisted my sister in mastering the art of using Audio Galaxy to download music and then play it on Winamp. It's at times like this when I get angry at every time they tried to get mad or yell at me for changes I made to the computer. They know shit, and I don't. Brat was getting mad at me for downloading the newest version of Yahoo Messenger and trying to upgrade it. I try to tell them that any changes I make are for the better, in an effort to try and improve our computer, but they don't listen unless they need help. Pisses me off sometimes. I find myself compelled to write a small essay/column on The Canadian Dream as I see it. Hopefully, I'll have it done by next Saturday and up for all to read—although it will most likely only interest fellow Canadians, and even some of them will think it's shit. Still haven't looked at law really. Guess that's what my spare is for. Monday November 5, 2001 Talking With Lunchbox So, today Lunchbox actually showed up for spare today, which is a rare treat. Sometimes I just enjoy talking to my friends and not doing much else. I won't go into much detail over some of the specifics about his life, but I will share my favourite moment, which happened at the end of the period. We were talking about his friends outside of school aka The Weekenders (who he's kind of hanging out with—one he never he really stopped as they've been friends for years and years and he isn't a problem) and we got onto That Cold Bitch. He mentioned something he told me before, but I had forgotten: his good friend, The K-Man, liked That Cold Bitch once upon a time. Not only that, but he kept pushing Lunchbox into going out with her. You see what's funny yet? It appears that, in my mind at least—which has been known to be wrong once or twice—is that The K-Man liked That Cold Bitch a lot. If I know one thing, I know this: if you have a buddy who liked a chick and now you are in a position to take that chick out and he encourages you to do it, don't. The more he tells you to, the less you should. When he's telling you to do it that usually means he's trying way too hard to get over her or he just wants her to be happy. Either way the friendship will suffer. Please keep in mind that this doesn't apply if you know for a fact that he is totally over her, but why take the chance? Everyday Is A New Beginning Before I go to sleep, I thought I'd get this little rant in. I just finished watching this week's episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm—which is still funny as hell—and I was using the bathroom downstairs. In it are a couple magazines and books, you know, in case someone wants something to look at and one of them is entitled Everyday Is A New Beginning. Now, this is one of these books my mom bought for some dumbass reason and it pisses me off. Just the title alone does it. You know why? Because that title signifies the attitude in our society that is taking it into the shitter. The attitude that you can do what you want, when you want to and don't worry about the consequences because tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. That is bullshit. You wanna know what tomorrow is, really? The day after today. Just read that again. The day after today. That means it is not some unique phenomenon. It is not a freak occurrence. "Oh, look, honey: a day. Don't see those everyday." Life is not a series of beginnings and ending, like some would have you believe. It is continuations. Life is a TV show with ongoing subplots. The main plot may change, but some things are always there. The day you accept that is the day you actually start becoming a human being. At this time, I would also like to address the idea that tomorrow is a new day, so fuck what I did today and yesterday. Everyone is always looking for someone to blame all their problems on. Be it a god, some other person, the post office—well, in that case it's true—or fate. No-one seems to want to take responsibility for their own life, choices and mistakes. "It wasn't me, it was the beer." "Rock music made me do it." "But he told me to!" "I can't think for myself because I'm a fucking dumbass." And, yes, sometimes I do it, too. You want to know what the difference is? I know I do it and I'm trying to change. Something the rest of the buggers in the world should be doing. See what happens when you give Chad a laptop? Tuesday November 6, 2001 Expertise So, I'm sitting in writer's craft today and the teacher is talking about upcoming stuff and she gets onto a unit coming up on script writing—any type of script, I assume—and she mentions something about when we get to that unit, that she will call upon my "expertise" in the subject. I find that kind of cool. Wednesday November 7, 2001 Lunchbox's Plan Lunchbox and I are sitting in the caf today, eating our doughnuts, me with my French vanilla cappuccino, he with his chocolate milk, and we get to talking about The Girl. I know, I know, I'm sick of it, too, but this has a point (I think). I mention how I've all but given up, as I know I have no chance, and he's trying to encourage me not to (for some reason). This leads me to actually discuss my reasoning; you know, her having a boyfriend—one who she has never spoken ill of, for any reason, as far as I know. His first suggestion was that I find a way to dislike her, and then she'll notice me. This comes from girls that I don't like torturing me by speaking to me—not that they like me in that way, but they think of me as a friend, which is more than I would like. His next suggestion was that he break them up. Apparently, he has a plan to do it and he won't tell me! I kept bugging him and he keeps brushing me off. I don't think he has a plan. Thursday November 8, 2001 Grizzly Adams And The Discussion About Ego *Note: in this entry I come off as a bit of a prick, but that's not going to stop me* At lunch today we were having a discussion about cool and I was talking about how I pride myself on not being cool, and Grizzly Adams said it. I always knew someone would, and now that I think about it, it seems right that it's him. He says to me, "Isn't it because you're just egotistical?" "What?" "Aren't you just egotistical?" "I guess. Where's this coming from?" "I don't know. You just seem to think you're the best at stuff." "Gee, I wonder why." "What?" "Well, after being told you kick ass at almost everything you do your entire life won't make you think a little of yourself." "You don't have to be so--" "There's a difference you know." "Between?" "Egotism and realism. Of course, I'm going to recognize my skills. It's not like I go around saying, "You suck and I'm the best." No, I just know what I can and cannot do." "You just seem to have yourself on a pedestal." "No, I was carried there and you're blaming me for not jumping off." And the conversation just went off onto something else around then. I don't have much else to say about it. Beavergate Fuck Stockwell Day. Know what I heard today? I heard that that goddamn fuckhead may be pushing back the Alliance party from spring until fall. This is the guy who brought his party to the point of cannibalism—a party that is only a year or two old—is now going to stay in his position of power for another six months because of the PC leadership election here in Ontario. Now, I hate Mike Harris and everything he has done to Ontario, but Day is worse. In his short time in the public limelight, he has shown himself to have a serious case of verbal diarrhea and to care only about himself. He is the epitome of all the stereotypes about politicians. He exists just to get elected and he couldn't even do that right. I almost expect him to show up again in twelve years like Nixon. Beavergate: the scandal of 2012. Villain's Running Mate I discovered yesterday that Tom Eagleton, the name of a character in Villain is also the name of McGovern's running mate back in 1972. He apparently spent the sixties in and out of mental institutions. The name fits now more than it did before as just an homage to Jack Hawksmoor and my changing the name—after co-creator Tom Raney and the eagle in relation to the hawk. Running mate to a guy who thinks he do things better than anyone else who wants the job. Sounds about right. Friday November 9, 2001 Good Day Today was a pretty good day. Went out and bought Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson and then went to Wendy's for lunch. When I got home, there was a package waiting for me. I thought it was some photocopies of some original art pages that are being sent to me by Selkie off the boards, but the package wasn't them . . . It was my prizes from Hojo for the Authority/Monarchy/Planetary fan fiction & art contest. A copy of Planetary 10, signed by John Cassidy and Laura Depuy, along with a copy of Monarchy 5 signed by Doselle Young and John McCrea. I'm about as happy as a pig in shit. SPOON! Watched The Tick today (I taped it). It was some funny, funny stuff (almost as funny as Family Guy, which proceeded it). I was actually expecting it to be good though, so I was happy. It had all the elements of the cartoon—and the comic, I assume—and the only bad thing about it is the mask that The Tick wears. I still wish they made it look the way it should, but I can live with it. The funniest moment of the show had to be at the end: Apocalypse Cow. And I can't wait for The Tick's catchphrase to be yelled: SPOON! Saturday November 10, 2001 Yeah, This Sucks Well, about time I faced facts: I'm not going to be published. Goddamn deals fell through. Twisted Gate has just about disappeared and The Moron hasn't been returning my e-mails. The thing that surprises me the most is that I don't care that much. Well, the thing with The Moron wasn't that great and I always kind of wanted out. And Twisted Gate disappeared months ago, so maybe I'm fine with it now. The only thing I feel bad about is what happens to Strat and Striker. I'm fine with me not getting this, but this was their chance too. I brought them into this and that fucker, The Moron fucked it up. Same with Confessor, a guy I know from the boards, who was also dealing with The Moron. I'm pissed off because he's fucking with my friends, something I can't stand. I'm not that discouraged because I think I can get another chance, but I'm just angry. Mainly at the fact that neither one told me. The ways I find out is by e-mails that don't get returned. So, all aspiring writers, artists, whatever, if a guy called evolutioncyclop@aol.com or one called cemspawn@aol.com start talking to you about doing some comics, tell them to fuck off. You'll feel better.