Shut Up and Listen 24 Friday August 31, 2001 Fucking Hell! Stupid computer corrupted this week’s column. Everything is lost. I had some cool writings in there. Weird fiction. I’ll try to reproduce them sometime. I told you all about meme drugs and how that’s what I seem to get high off of. And how Dream Conception made a banner for the site, plans to air it on a site that gets a shitload of hits and is currently working on making the site look better. There were also the stats for this month’s Chevett Poll. Let’s see, The Captain should have direct with The Primary target; Lunchbox is homely, Tubby Bitch is tubby; Grizzly Adams is grizzly (he’s not really, you know); I should ask out The Girl (I’ve tried); Dream Conception’s music is good; and no one’s seen Authorised’s art. There’s a new poll up too, so go vote. This pisses me off. So forgive me if this week’s column is short. Interview With . . . Tom Peyer! I was bored one night so I thought I’d e-mail a few famous writers and ask if they wouldn’t mind me interviewing them. Then it came down to which writers’ e-mails I knew. Tom’s is easy enough to find what with his forum on www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com and his monthly chats on the Authority boards. I asked him and he said yes. When I got the answers to my questions back I noticed in one I may have offended Tom, that and I wanted a better answer, so I resent the question and rephrased it. You can see the results in the interview, but the best part was when he sent back that question again he called me Craig. I love that! Now I can say a famous writer got my name wrong. It’s so cool. And now for the interview. Me: Tell us a little about yourself. Peyer: Born in Syracuse, NY. Moved to NYC to edit comics for DC; went freelance and moved to South Florida. Hated it there. Came back to Syracuse, a great place. Me: How did you become a writer? Peyer: I was a newspaper cartoonist locally, and a comic book writer, Roger Stern, followed my stuff. When he found himself over committed at one point, he asked me to help him get the work out. Being a great guy, he talked me up to his editor and helped me get work of my own. Me: What have you written? Peyer: Hourman, The Authority, DC 2000, Justice Leagues (the bookends to a recent JLA stunt-month), Smash Comics, Cruel & Unusual, Totems, Doom Patrol (for last year's Silver Age month at DC), Magnus Robot Fighter, Legion of Super-Heroes, Legionnaires, L.E.G.I.O.N., R.E.B.E.L.S., The Atom, Marvel Team-Up, Quicksilver, X-Nation 2099, Doom 2099, Titans, the odd Impulse, Supergirl and Superman stories, some 80-Page Giant shorts . . . Quite a bit of stuff, I guess. Me: How did you land the Authority gig? Peyer: Mark Millar recommended me. Me: What are you working on right now? Peyer: The Punisher. Me: Do you find it intimidating to be following writers like Garth Ennis and Mark Millar on books? Peyer: I find it stimulating. When I come onto an existing series I have to read the back issues. It really helps if they're fun to read, and Garth and Mark in particular write funnier stuff than nearly anyone. Me: Boxers or briefs? Peyer: Cellophane. Me: Summer or winter? Peyer: We have hot & humid summers here that would peel the paint off a house, and winters a person is lucky to get out of alive. Like I said, Syracuse is a great place. Me: Cats or dogs? Peyer: I like them both, but I love my dog, Lucy. Me: Got any cool stories involving a chick? Peyer: Queen Victoria was never let out of anyone's sight until she became queen at age 18. The first thing she did as queen was get her own room. Me: I just gave you a case full of 100 untraceable bullets like in 100 Bullets, who do you use them on? Peyer: 100 cans of Utica Club beer, previously emptied by yours truly and several chosen pals. Me: What comics are you currently digging? Peyer: Outlaw Nation, New X-Men, X-Force, Punisher, JLA, Authority. And I loved the Atom Archives. Me: Who are your favourite writers? Comics, prose, whatever. Peyer: Alan Moore, Jamie Delano, Mark Waid, Grant Morrison, Peter Milligan, Mark Millar, Steve Gerber, Arnold Drake, Bob Haney, William Burroughs, P.G. Wodehouse, Ishmael Reed, Christopher Hitchens. My God . . . they're all men. I've got to read some women writers and fast. Me: What is the one comic you desperately want to do? Peyer: I've always wanted to take a crack at the Fantastic Four, particularly Ben Grimm, who is one of the greatest characters of all time. But the word “desperately” doesn't really fit. Me: Who is your hero? Peyer: The late I.F. Stone, last of the great American journalists. He had the skill to work for anyone and make as much money as he wanted, but instead he published himself in this rinky-dink little newsletter, I.F. Stone's Weekly, just so no employer could keep him from telling the truth as he saw it. Journalism is in such bad shape right now (in fact, by comparison, comics are enjoying a renaissance), it's comforting to remember that it once did, and still could do, its job. Me: You were involved with that Morrison/Waid Superman pitch a few years ago, right? We know that DC's rejection really through Morrison and Waid for a loop, did it affect you in the same way? Peyer: The way that question is phrased, I can't think of any way to answer it both directly and truthfully. It feels like you're lighting a fuse and standing back, hoping for a big explosion. [Note: the next question was asked later via e-mail after every other question was answered. I wanted to clear things up and possibly get an answer. And this is when he called me Craig.] Me: Would it be better if I asked how it affected you? I don't mean to cause trouble, I was just wondering really. Peyer: No hard feelings. You can run the question and answer as is, or if you're not comfortable with that, here's another answer: I don't publicly comment on matters like this. The people I do business with have a right to expect that our dealings occur, and will remain, just between us. Me: Do you have as much of a militant stance against editors as some writers? Peyer: I've never heard of any writers with a militant stance against editors. A writer and editor's job is to please themselves, each other and the reader. It's not always easy, but it's achievable. There's no reason to leave anyone out. Me: Who would you really like to work with? Peyer: That I haven't worked with already? Chris Weston, Steve Pugh, Steve Ditko. I'm sure there are others. Me: Who do you love? Peyer: Everybody in the whole wide world. Me: Any final words? Peyer: We're lucky to have comics. They're entertaining. They communicate ideas and feelings as well as any other medium. When we allow ourselves a relationship with our favourite characters and creators, we're undermining the loneliness and alienation that has engulfed the larger culture for over 50 years. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed to read comics. Don't feel like they have to be enshrined as fine art or taught in universities to be worthwhile. They're just fine without anyone's help, and especially without anyone's approval. Today I Awoke Naked, Alone And Covered In Grape Jelly *Note: this is my attempt to reproduce something I already wrote. And the original was pretty good, I thought* What, it’s never happened to you? It all started when I went out drinking last night and met the girl off my dreams. I was stone cold shitfaced and she was sober. She had contacts on that made her eyes show the stock reports on the left eye and sports scores on the right. Since I was totally wasted I was in my usual ranting mood. I was telling her all about my plans to attack politicians with disgusting, yet mildly humorous packages. Like sending them a box of condoms with a note that reads We may have to take it, but what don’t want to catch what you’ve got. She spoke at a frequency 100 Hz above the average person which made it difficult to understand at first, but I got accustomed to it. After about 20 root beer beers we left and went back to my place. On the ride home she gave my car a crippling orgasm that made us walk twenty blocks. She had read that part of the manual that I never got around to. When I picked it up today it was still unconscious with a smile on its hood. During the walk I explained my desire to someday produce a record with a subliminal message throughout it saying This is a subliminal message and you know that it is, but you don’t know really that it exists. And she told me of her plans to move to Southern Wales and conduct her genetic experiments on the locals, as no one cares; just as she did in Cleveland and Ottawa. At my place I drank some more and then did a striptease to If I Only Had A Heart from The Wizard Of Oz for her. Then she did one to Idioteque by Radiohead for me. Then we put each song on overtop of the other on repeat and danced naked for three hours. After that we went into the bedroom . . . . . . And I awoke today naked, alone and covered in grape jelly. I don’t remember what happened when we went into the bedroom. A whole night of passion with a hot chick and I don’t remember it. But at least I got her phone number. Meme Drugs That’s what I get all high on. They are mental, not physical. I get them mainly from comics and writings by Grant Morrison. Anytime you’ve heard me talk about getting people or going off on a campaign, I’m on meme drugs. And if you don’t know what a meme is, odds are you aren’t a user. Saturday September 1, 2001 Respect My Authoritah! I just finished an Authority fan fiction story this week and it can be found at http://thehigherauthority.com/fanfic.html with my banner too. It’s all about Jack Hawksmoor and his parents.