columns contact links

Cataract Resin 59

The Filth. The Bill. The Cops. The Fuzz. The Rozzers. The Radicks. The Pigs.

I used to think that the police had got a bum rap. I thought that for the most part they're making the world a safer place. They arrest the bad guys, and make things safe for the good guys. And the people they arrest are innocent until proven guilty, aren't they?

So now let me tell you about something that happened to me the other day.

I had just dropped my girlfriend off at work and was returning home. I waited at a junction, and a police car came past me. I thought nothing of it. I pulled out of the junction and noticed the police had stopped in the bus shelter nearby. I turned off the main road and carried on home. The cops followed me home.

Now, I had done nothing wrong, and I knew this, so I wasn't really worried.

"What's the problem, officer."

"Didn't notice a tax disc in your car"

Now, this made me immediately think "Bullshit". Until recently, I would have thought "fair enough", but you see, the government recently changed the road tax regulations. They have a big fat computer database of who's paid their tax and who hasn't paid their tax. And I had paid my tax. No, what the officer meant to say was "I need an excuse to check your car."

Anyway, I showed him my tax disc and he carried on checking every aspect of the car. And what did he find? Nothing. The cops handed me a piece of paper and said "Take your MOT certificate down to the police station within 7 days."

Being an irritating so and so, I replied, telling them they could see it right now, as it was in the front of my car. Obviously, they had to agree, but you could tell they were pissed off. They left, I was in the clear, and the only thing wasted was time. Time that could have been spent chasing the REAL criminals.

The reason the cops stopped me in the first place was nothing to do with tax. They didn't like my appearance. "Dreadlocks, chief." "Right you are. Must have drugs in the car."

If I was a clean cut guy in a suit, they wouldn't have batted an eyelid, and yet the guys in suits are the most terrifying. For a start, the majority of men in suits wear them because they want to project an image. The image may be one of importance, it may be one of wealth, or tidiness. One thing you can be certain of though, is that the majority of people in suits are not wearing them because they feel comfortable in them, nor because they like the style (of course there are a few who DO like the style, and more power to them). They are simply trying to make people think that they are something other than what they truly are. And that unsettles me. I can't trust men in suits.

And now it would appear that I can no longer trust the Boys in Blue.

And as long as they take the attitude that 'everyone is a suspect, especially those that look dodgy' instead of the old 'innocent until proven guilty', I shall continue to take the attitude: 'Pig until proven cop.'