"Minimum 5 years industry experience plus 2 published titles. " "Must have previous experience on at least one free roam title from beginning to end." "SKILL REQUIREMENTS/RESPONSIBILITIES: Previous experience within a similar role. " So I'm trying to find a job as a games designer, OK? I mean, it's what I've wanted to do since I was a kid. I went to university and put up with 4 years of shit and racked up a £12,000 debt to get a computing degree. So I look for a job. And for every single designer's job they want previous experience. So riddle me this: How in the name of the BLUE FACED MOTHERFUCKER does anyone get fucking experience if they need previous fucking experience to get a fucking job in the first place? It's like the industry is turning round to me and saying "Nuh-uh, this is OUR club, and it's for members only. You can't come in." So I settle for a job as a games tester, thinking to work my way up the ranks. And do you know what, it really fucking opened my eyes. I recently failed to land another job as a designer (no previous experience, see). To be fair, they gave me a chance (they didn't reject my application outright), my efforts just weren't good enough. And I sit here now nd onder WHY they weren't good enough. And the answer hits me in the face like a ton of glutinous, HIV positive semen. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THIS PATHETIC FUCKING INDUSTRY Video Games are the new cinema. Row upon row upon row of pointless shit churned out to make a quick buck, with the exception of course that with the movie industry, you have small art houses keeping the dream alive. There are no small art houses making video games, because they can't survive. So I hate the industry and I couldn't care less. And so all the passion for creating video games that has built up in me over the last 17 years has been flushed out, diluted, and pumped out to sea. So what now. One childhood dream shatters, and I go back to Plan B. Comic Book colouring. But who the fuck am I kidding? I'm never going to land a job doing that. I no longer have the time to commit to web projects or create pieces for my portfolio. I've never submitted any work to companies. I sit here and talk about what I want to do, and deep down I know it's never going to fucking happen. And I know why. People don't like change. People don't like doing things a different way. People want to see the same old shit flying accross their eyes, into their ears, down their fucking throats. This pointless fucking 80's revival is proof of that. Thundercats can fuck off. Battle of the planets can fuck off. Transformers, Outrun, The Darkness, Star wars, ALL THAT SHIT CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF. COME UP WITH SOMETHING FUCKING ORIGINAL FOR ONCE, YOU BUNCH OF OVERPAID FUCKING KIDS. "Oh, that was cool when I was a kid, it must be cool now." No, you fucking moron. Keep the memory for what it is - a fucking memory. here are some insights for everyone reading: Star Wars is shit: You only like it because you liked it when you were a fucking kid Transformers are shit: Sure, they were cool toys once, but how fucking often do you play with them now? Lord of the Rings is shit: Read the book if you have to. It was better, but there's tons of better books out there anyway Thundercats are shit: It was a fucking cartoon for kids. Stop watching it and grow the fuck up. You want animation, watch Ghost in the Shell, or Akira, or something that actually challenges you now, not something that didn't even challenge you when you were a kid. The Darkness are shit: They're only so popular because they remind fat cat music execs of Led Zeppelin. Sorry about the brevity of this column after all this time, but I'm too fucking angry to write anything more. Until people stop making remakes, book to film conversions, sequels, derivative video games and diabolical musci, I shall continue to hate everyone. Now turn off your fucking computers, get the fuck outside and do some exercise with some real people.